Rest In Peace

Is it inappropriate to take children to a funeral?

I just found out that my cousins wife has past on and the showing is today, being so short notice I cant find a babysitter. I have never been to a showing/funeral before so dont know what to expect. My kids are 11 and 8 and very polite and patient, they wont run around and yell. But I feel uncomfotable taking them, it just seems inappropriate to me, I am wondering what others think? Thanks

Public Comments

1. they are old enough to know respect.
2. I wouldn't if I were you. I wouldn't ever put children in a situation where they would have to deal with adult issues.
3. In this Case yes becuase its A Family member's Spouse.. if it was Your Husband Buds whatever.. no..
4. You know your children better than anyone else. If you think they'll be patient, and that they can handle the idea of death...then I don't see the harm. I recently took my 10 yr old to a showing, but I knew my 7 year old wouldn't do well. He dwells on death and mortality too much.
5. Unless it was a close relative, I would advise against taking them to the viewing. While I'm sure they could be patient and respectful, it might not be a good idea to expose them to that at such a young age. My advice would be to skip the viewing and find a sitter for the actual service or send your deepest condolences and regrets that you couldn't make it.
6. If they actually cared about the person then bring them. I remember when my parents didn't take me to my great grandfathers death. I still haven't forgave them..
7. I was around the same age when a family friend died...my mother didn't take my siblings and i along...she sat us down and calmly explained to us why we would no longer be seeing this person and let us ask questions and cry with her at home...It was the best decision she made, I personally think they're old enough to understand death but not to be at a viewing/or funeral
8. They are old enough. My daughters have been to a funeral, they are 5 (4 at the time), and my niece was there also (a little less than 2 at the time). It was extremely close family, and I felt they should be there, they did fine, and were well behaved.
9. um i think that you shouldn't take them because it may lead to nightmares and problems because thats what happen to children at young ages when they go to a funeral and if you think its not right to take them than don't.
10. Really, it depends. If your children are sensitive they should not go. I am 13 years old and cry at every funeral I visit, even if it is a strangers. Especially if they know the person, they should decide whether or not to go.
11. Hey ya, i was 8 when i went to a funeral for the first time. I think that your children are old enough to know whats going on and old enough to pay their respect. They should be ok. Sorry for the loss by the way. take care x
12. the way i look at is the for one are old enough to understand what is happening and if they to are close to that family member the need to send there last words to. sorry for the loss hope this helps
13. I think if they can act appropriately then you should take them. It's better than not going at all. I would not take them up to the casket, perhaps let them sit at the back of the room with another family member while you pay your respects. I would also not stay for long, just long enough to pay your respects to the family and then I would get out of there before the kids start to get bored.
14. They are old enough to understand and be respectful. Just as long as they aren't freaked out by the thought of going.
15. i think that they're old enough to go. my mom took me to a close familys showing when i was 7. she just explained to me what was going on and she let me ask all the questions i had before we got there. she just told me that if it got to be to much that we could go home. you'll never really know how they'll handle it for sure until you go. i don't think anyone would be upset if you did go and had to leave early because it was upsetting the kids. sometimes things like that happen.
16. i have found through experience that kids emotions run high and the surprise and sadness is worse if they attend a funeral for the first time with someone they were close to and loved. if they don't know the person that well, the first time (to go to a funeral) is best. a practice run per say (no disrespect intended) if they didn't know the woman that well, and they know the meaning of respect and how to listen well to you, it is perfectly fine. talk to them on the way and ask them to save all questions for the car ride home. to me, it is not innapropriate. innapropriate would be unruly kids running around and non-stop talking and giggling.
17. Depends on how close y'all were. If the children were close and liked or loved this woman - they should definitely get the opportunity to pay last respects. If not - Do you want to go? If you have any desire to go, then do it. Try one last time to find a sitter. If you can't, just take the kids with you. I do not think it is inappropriate. Death is a part of life and this woman is a part of the family. If nothing else, they will probably see that it is ok to publicly grieve the loss of a loved one. And in the future, when they do loose a loved one, they will have some idea of what to expect. If you decide to go, or if you can't make up your mind, ask the kids about it. If the idea of going to a funeral freaks them out - don't make them go.
18. If you feel your kids can handle it, go ahead. It also depends how close they were too. If they weren't that close, then don't bother.
19. Death is a natural part of life. There is no reason children can't learn about it. We have, unfortunately, had quite a few funerals in our families since the kids were born. And, not only our children, but any other cousins, nieces, nephews, etc, all come to the wake and, if it was someone they were close to, the funeral. Kids are a nice reminder for the people grieving that life is a circle. If well behaved, they are a pleasant distraction from the sadness. And, they often remind the mourners of the deceased own childhood stories. Just be sure to be there for your kids, answering their questions, helping them know how to behave. And, be sure to remove them from the room (most funeral homes have lounges where you can go to relax & let off steam) if they are having a hard time behaving respectfully.