Rest In Peace

What is proper etiquette for a card and gift to the family at a funeral?

This is my uncle. The obituary doesn't mention giving donations to a certain charity or anything like that (sometimes I see in a funeral notice where the family asks to give donations to a cancer charity in the persons name or something like that) I'm not sure if a monetary gift in the card is appropriate or expected? If so, how much? I have no problem giving money, I just don't know if I should or if so, how much.

Public Comments

1. Aww that's a tough one there. If I were you I wouldn't give money, at least not now, because you don't know how people will react to it. (I don't know how close you are to these people, but there always is a risk they'll think it's inappropriate.) You can discuss the issue about the money later, perhaps if they are less stressed and it is an easier subject. (This way, you can also ask others whether they gave money.) I think the best you can do is tell them with a beautiful card that you feel genuinely sorry for them, and perhaps something soothing if it comes to mind. (A quote from a beautiful poem and a flower perhaps?) I think the emotional aspect is worth a lot more than any money would mean. I wish you the best!
2. Talk to the funeral director. They know all about it. Sorry about your uncle.
3. Sorry for your loss. If your Uncle died of cancer, or diabetes related complications, something that you can donate money for research, then donate and write in your card to the family that in honor of Uncle____ I made a donation to the ______ research center. Or call the funeral home and ask if the family has requested donation to a certain organization, or donations to help with funeral expenses. If you donate, donate what you are comfortable with. If that is $20.00 that is fine, if it's $500.00 that is fine-- a donation is a gift from the heart and will be taken that way--no matter how much you give.